The Christmas ‘Denial Diet’

It’s time to start your special festive diet. Here are the rules, written by my inner voice…

From 25 November:
“It’s socially *expected* to accept any festive treats offered at work / a friend’s / on supermarket displays.”
 
Christmas nights out:
“It’s actually rude to diet at a party and I’ll probably dance off 2000 calories anyway.”
 
24 December:
“Sod it. We’re officially celebrating now.”
 
25 December:
“I’m going to explode…. ooooh cheese!”
 
26 December:
“My family will be offended if I don’t eat a bit of everything they offer / on this buffet table.”
 
27 December:
“I can’t be arsed cooking, let’s get a take away.”
 
28 December:
“I look like Jabba. Just salad from now on. Oh, but these mince pies go out of date tomorrow. We can’t just throw food away.”
 
29/30 December:
“Fuck it. I’ll start a diet in the new year.”
 
31 December:
“Final binge. Let’s go out in style!”
 
1 January:
“I feel so rough… Only a bacon sandwich / McDonalds will cure me.”

Dry January:
“Well if I’m not drinking, I’m eating cake.”

Author: Unbalanced Woman

I’ve given up on finding the perfect work / life balance. Instead I choose to celebrate the reality of an Unbalanced life, and all the fun, chaos and swearing that brings. (Seriously, if you’re offended by bad language, this is not the place for you.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s