Category: Christmas

Unbalanced and proud!

It seems we all get reflective at the end of the year. I’ve been re-reading old blogs and seeing how much life has changed.

When I started this page in March I didn’t tell anyone it was me. I felt like Batman, with a secret identity!

Until then I was pretending I had my shit together. No-one needed to know that my house was a bomb site, or that I didn’t play constant board games with my family.

No one needed to know that I was having counselling because I wasn’t coping with my vestibular illness. I could say on here things that I wouldn’t admit to anyone outside my family. It was like extra therapy.

But then lovely people started to Like some of the posts and send me messages saying that there are lots of us feeling unbalanced, but pretending we’re not.

Some people shared that they have the same vestibular illness as me. But most just recognise that constant juggle of a too-busy life, keeping all our plates spinning. It’s been great to share a laugh or a rude word when we let one of our plates spectacularly smash on the floor (and quickly try to sweep it up while no-one’s looking).

So I got the confidence to take my Bat-mask off.

Ironically it’s made me feel much LESS Unbalanced. It’s made me *genuinely* celebrate my unbalanced life and count my lucky stars that I have so much going on, that I just can’t fit it all in. It’s helped me accept that some things just won’t get done.

img_2594So now I’m standing tall, if a little wobbly sometimes. I’m proud to say out loud…
My name is Julie, and I’m Unbalanced.
Sometimes literally, sometimes mentally, but nearly always with a smile.

And a foul mouth. Let’s not fucking forget that.

Thank you to everyone who has liked this page, or sent me a message, or shared a story of your unbalanced lives. It’s amazing to know that you lot are Unbalanced too (please take that as a compliment!).

Here’s to a Happily Unbalanced 2017 for us all.

Xxx

The Christmas ‘Denial Diet’

It’s time to start your special festive diet. Here are the rules, written by my inner voice…

From 25 November:
“It’s socially *expected* to accept any festive treats offered at work / a friend’s / on supermarket displays.”
 
Christmas nights out:
“It’s actually rude to diet at a party and I’ll probably dance off 2000 calories anyway.”
 
24 December:
“Sod it. We’re officially celebrating now.”
 
25 December:
“I’m going to explode…. ooooh cheese!”
 
26 December:
“My family will be offended if I don’t eat a bit of everything they offer / on this buffet table.”
 
27 December:
“I can’t be arsed cooking, let’s get a take away.”
 
28 December:
“I look like Jabba. Just salad from now on. Oh, but these mince pies go out of date tomorrow. We can’t just throw food away.”
 
29/30 December:
“Fuck it. I’ll start a diet in the new year.”
 
31 December:
“Final binge. Let’s go out in style!”
 
1 January:
“I feel so rough… Only a bacon sandwich / McDonalds will cure me.”

Dry January:
“Well if I’m not drinking, I’m eating cake.”

21st Century Christmas Songs

I love Christmas songs, I really do. The carols, the pop songs, the kids songs. Pretty much all of them. So I thought I’d have some fun updating the lyrics of some classics from my Christmas playlist, so they feel more relevant to life as I know it now – as a knackered mother…

1. To the tune of ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’

You better watch out, she might start to cry
Can’t believe all the shit still to buy
We’re all on the Christmas count down

She’s making a list and checking it twice
Goose fat and cranberry, carrots with spice
We’re all on the Christmas count down

She panics when she’s sleeping
She’ll soon jump wide awake
That present’s not arrived yet
Now she’s screaming “for fuck’s sake!”

Oh, you better watch out, get out of her way
Wrapping and cleaning and swearing all day
We’re all on the Christmas count down.

—

2. To the tune of ‘Last Christmas’

Last Christmas I sent loads of cards

But the postage I paid, just seemed such a waste
This year to save me some time
I’ll just post a pic on Facebook (Facebook) oh oh.

(Merry Christmas) I wrote them all and sent them
With a note saying “Love from…” and I meant it
But now you know, that you won’t get a card
You haven’t pissed me off, I haven’t lost your address.

Last Christmas I sent loads of cards
Now the postage I saved, will not go to waste
This year, to charity sent
So they can do something special (spe-e-cial).

christmascard

—

3. Sing this one like Bing 

(Remembering Christmases when I lived with my parents and had no real responsibilities)


I’m dreaming of a boozy Christmas
Just like when I still lived at home
Where my mum did the shopping, so there’d be no stopping,
My after-work drinks and late night discos

I’m dreaming of a drunk Christmas
Before I had kids of my own
May your children sleep right through the niiiight
And may all your hangovers be light. 

21stcentury-christmas

—

4. And finally… White Wine in the Sun

This is a real modern day Christmas song by my favourite comtim-minchinedian, Tim Minchin. I listen to this every year and it gets me every time.


It’s a beautiful song about his love of Christmas because it’s when his family comes together in Australia. Please give it a play, listen to the words (and maybe grab a tissue if you’re as sentimental as me!)…

Whether you celebrate Christmas in the snow or the sun
Whether you are a dad, a sister, a brother, a mum
Whether you believe in Jesus or just the family traditions…
I hope your Christmas is magical, fun, sentimental and filled with love.

And perhaps Unbalanced for all the good reasons!

Merry Christmas xxx

Link to White Wine in the Sun on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q
(This post was also shared on SelfishMother.com)
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