It’s tradition for for many of us at some point this week to take a picture of our kids heading off for their first day at school.
PARENTS: Don’t forget to take a picture of YOU standing in front of a door and smiling. Then look back on it occasionally to remind yourself that (with a week’s worth of preparation) it actually is possible to leave the house calm and smiling with plenty of time to take photos and arrive in the playground early.
NB THIS IS NOT EVERY DAY REALITY!!
Your future self will learn that normal procedure is to leave the house each morning…
– red in the face from running up and down your stairs repeatedly, looking for lost shoes, PE kits and door keys
– arguing with your child that they could have mentioned earlier that they desperately want to take a very specific book, stick or twatting pebble into Show and Tell but, of course, they have no idea where it is right now.
– battling a small person’s arm into their inside-out coat sleeve while throwing your own coat over your head and hopping in one shoe as you attempt navigate the door / steps putting on the other one.
– juggling what feels like a hundred bags, books and possibly a scooter
– expressing your slight ‘disappointment’ (total fucking rage) that your child has not (you have not) planned ahead, and agree that tonight they (you) really WILL learn to pack and prepare everything the night before school (just like you remember you did on the first day of the school year)
– locking the door, setting off and then realising that you have forgotten your own sodding bag.
Good luck everyone!